So I haven't been on this forum in a long time. I just got on today because of the email I received about the Pesach music. Just a quick update on me: Quit nursing school, graduating with another degree this summer, now working with my LOR, have a job that lets me off for shabbosim and yom tovim (B"H), and I have a place now to stay in town for Shabbos so that I don't have to drive anymore on Shabbos morning.
Now to the discussion topic:
Dating during conversion. What are your thoughts? Yes, No, or it's complicated? I thought it would be interesting to see the response since a lot of the girls in this WhatsApp group that I'm in are struggling with it.
Well now there's an interesting topic! I was already married when I converted so I have no first hand experience. What I am struggling with is the definition of dating? Are you talking about looking to start a long term relationship or just casual dating for friendship? I would absolutely suggest that the couple understand what each expects from this "dating" before it becomes a habit. That would avoid complications in the future.
When I converted, I was still actively dating. That was 2011, now I am a single 53 year old woman and do not date anymore. I would suggest you go ahead and make yourself available for dating, but know that some guys won't want to date you until you are Jewish. There is one Orthodox dating site, I don't know if it is still out there, it's called "See you at Sinai" and I think you have to prove you are Jewish to sign up. I remember I didn't qualify as I did my conversion with Reform and Conservative Rabbis present and for all purposes it was a Reform conversion. I used J-date and met one nice guy it just didn't work out.
Well, I'm being more general than specific. I'm glad you guys find this interesting though. This topic comes up a lot with the girls in another conversion support group I'm in. Most of us are in our 20's and 30's. So you have a bunch of girls who are wanting to start having families who all have rabbis who have different opinions on the matter. My community is totally fine with dating, but some of the other girls have rabbis who won't convert someone who is dating. I would not recommend see you at Sinai for in process converts. I also wouldn't recommend Jdate if you're Orthodox. I've met several guys on Shabbat.com. I'm currently dating my best friend who I met on JDate 3 years ago. We'll see how long it lasts this time. When we decided last year that we were more than friends, we dated four months before trying to date more local. It didn't work...so we're dating again. Back on topic. Anyways, it's interesting to hear people's views on dating during conversion. The definition of "dating" will vary by which branch of Judaism you affiliate with. For some, it will be casual dating, and for others, it may mean shidduchim style dating. But how do you guys feel about it in general? No one's opinion is wrong here.